Not where I am going but where I am
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- Jul 30, 2022
- 2 min read
Updated: Jul 30, 2024
Day 236
I am aware of a pulling back, a focusing into the moment of what I am doing, what I am thinking. The process of either has always for me been an activity within a larger context -– for example, investing within the context of retirement, or a business activity within the larger context of promotion, whether in money or position. I am finding a level of comfort in just doing the activity as something I want to do, to concentrate on it, to do it well, to listen for detail, to find a satisfaction in its completion. And then letting the consequences of that work rest within His thoughts for my life.

Listening, and writing, has made me aware of the power of small things in my life. The meaning of words, and how they are linked together, have caused on occasion a shifting of what was seemingly revealed because a word interpretation changed my understanding. It may seem a little thing, this moving of focus and thoughts to the modest task at hand, but within it I have found a personal joy of accomplishment. Is it complete, this joy when something is done? I don’t know if it matters that much; the joy seems to be in the activity itself, and not in finishing the activity, though this is important too. A thought, a turn of phrase is much like a finished carpentry project – does it appear to be what I first imagined?
I see Him moving with the broad brushstrokes of creation – a massive, continuing endeavor of exploration of the great within. Yet I also see much more of Him, and His intense concern for details, within the smallest things of my attention, as if all were the most important to Him. Would the salvation of one be more important to Him than providing food for a day for another? Would a nation garner more of His attention than a single man? I don’t think so, if His awareness of my thoughts and activities are any indication.
He understands my feelings, my desires, my dreams. Are they of interest to Him among such great catastrophes that have descended upon man these past years – of wars, sickness, death, and the massively influential events that might come? From what I have seen the answer is yes: they are of such intimate concern that He would speak directly to them, and multiple times if necessary.
If He finds the details of my life to be so important then perhaps my pull back to the greater focus of what I am thinking and doing is becoming more important to me too. It seems it is not so much where I am going – it is where I am. And, I believe, it is there where He is too.
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