An escape into another life that would reveal the fullness of the one I am living

I would not want to presume upon our relationship as I have done in the past with all others.

I had sought what I felt was good for me, even aloneness at times, and had shut out others from my thoughts. It wasn’t so much for what they could provide – it was more of me believing I was okay to receive anything from anyone. It seemed much safer to be alone with my thoughts; then there was no disappointment. Somehow that sense of aloneness had morphed into not needing anyone in life, that I could navigate through any circumstance, protecting my heart from any hurt or disappointment.

Yet in that place I felt a depression, as if there was nothing to live for, nothing to accomplish, that I was not to be missed if I left permanently. In time I learned that these thoughts were not true, that they come from a place of destruction, a place of death. And I would not have them. It seemed that once this place of thought and feeling was rejected I could move positively thorough life, with light and hope, regardless of circumstance. Then, within this new place of thought I met You. Your words ignited the hope within of a life of possibility, of purpose, of fulfillment.

Now I see my task is to not crush this relationship from reimagining the thought and ways of the past but to embrace the goodness and belonging that has come my way – not as a possession as I would have in the past – but as a touching, a connection with something wonderful I could experience each moment, without demand, expectation, or want. I could just enjoy being in what the moment might bring, even if only to dwell within what was there. It was a vision of connection, a feeling of acceptance, a welcome, a belonging. It is wonderful just to be.

And now I have heard the same thought from You: how You would just be with me. No expectation, no other desire – just to be together. Others might see this relationship as an escape from the revealed life; in the past I might have thought the same. But now I see it more than that – more an escape into another life that would reveal the fullness of the one I am living.

I am not disappointed in life – I am now fulfilled for having met You. I am not striving for success in life, for I have succeeded in discovering You. I am not seeking for relevance, power, superiority, or the envy of others – for my greatest discovery, my greatest treasure, are the words You speak with tenderness, with love, with care, with the concern You have for me.

Is that not what life is to be about? Is it not to be content, to experience each moment, to run through circumstances as a discovery of the fullness of the treasure I now possess?

And so all relationships become as one, whether new or long term; all events become as one, neither good nor bad; all revelation is one: all are in the moment with You.

A touch of the now. What do I see?