A rare opportunity to see for myself that which is not the truth

Day 244

I see arrayed before me, separated by a large space, the enemy of my life. They stand still, a mountainous force, waiting for some command to move, to overwhelm with their size and number.

I have met them before: Fear – not having enough to sustain our lives within old age; our children needing to take care of us; separation from one another. And there is Sadness – for the pain I have caused others in my pursuit of that which would bring me great prosperity, wealth received for a life purpose accomplished well. There is Regret – of poor financial decisions; missed opportunities, those unseen because of wanting something faster than I was willing to work for to achieve; for bringing along others on this journey, my journey, without consideration of theirs. There is Confusion – as if I never knew my purpose, my passions, my goals for life. There is Forgetfulness – to ignore a purpose unfulfilled; a complacency to life that is near complete, too much time passing now to believe in any change.

They all stand before me, immense, crowded together such that nothing can be seen past them, as if to block any vision of hope beyond.

Yet, there is that space between them and me. What is that? Am I able to see my enemy before me, rather than unseen, usually in the midst of battle? Am I in a place of rest and peace that I can now see the truth of them? Where is this place I stand? Is He allowing me to see my enemy, that which comes against me, that which is not me? And why am I seeing them now, this way? Why do they wait? Do they hesitate now, after victories against me in the past, where I was easily overwhelmed, and depression reigned? Isn’t that their victory?

Perhaps I have been given a rare opportunity to see for myself that which is not the truth. These are the enemy of my soul, my heart, my being. They would crush me continually. Yet I perceive them to be waiting on me. Why? Do they perceive something different about me, some unforeseen power, something new, unseen in the past? Do they now have a fear of me?

This gives me great hope, that there can be victory over all. I may not see past them, yet I know there is an overcoming place already given to me that lies beyond them. This is not a future I can currently see, yet I sense it within my heart. I feel a readiness of sorts, as if a final battle; they sense it too.

I do not sense Him behind me, or even near me, yet I know He is there. It’s as if He recognizes that this is my battle, my overcoming, my victory. I feel His encouragement, His timing, His purpose for me; it is why I am here now. This could be my moment of breakthrough.

They are many: sadness, regret, fear, accusations that stretch uncounted before me. Yet I sense my armor: it changes color, as if matching the colored armor I have seen on Him – the red of Freedom, the black of Creation, the gold of Prosperity, the blue of Might, the white of Wisdom, all that He is. Does the enemy see this too? Are they now unsure of what to do, waiting for my first move? I know they will not wait much longer; something will coerce them to attack. But I feel my strength, my passion to respond, and sense a victory that can be mine.

Will Doubt be the first to move?