What are my desires?

Day 260

What are my desires? You mention that I have desired a good thing – to honor and respect a heart that is shared, and that the response from You (and therefore Creation) is the sharing of Your heart. Can I have a desire and not know it, such that Creation is responding in a way that I am unaware? How do I ever know what desire the Creation response is linked to?

If I believe the guideposts in my life are an encouragement in the pursuit of my desires then I must, somehow, resolve this issue. To what desire is my back spasm related? I can’t just choose which event is actually a guidepost; I must believe that all events are guideposts – can anything in my life just be happenstance? Even an event of joy or sorrow must be an indication of something greater going forward.

The death of Lazarus, and the great sadness of his family, moved Your heart. Yet was this not planned earlier? The death was a guidepost to life – is this now perceived to be the ‘seemingly small’ leading ‘to the great’ resurrection? Could my back spasm be a response of Creation that leads to a greater, more permanent body to come, in complete fullness and perfection of form and that it might be a forerunner to the greater internal desire for health, and wholeness, and never a breakdown – but an eternal body?

Can I have a desire put within by You for the eternal, and not be aware that this is a desire borne out of my relationship with You – that because we are together, one result might be that the eternal desire to live forever is given? Then perhaps the back spasm should be an indication to me of the awareness of such a magnificent gift, and that I might need to adjust my belief in this area somewhat, that I might see the truth now of eternal life.